Do you ever stop to wonder why most swingers clubs exclude single guys?  It's simple really, a hell of a lot of single males simply do not know how to behave in a highly sexually charged atmosphere! At Phantastica, we welcome single guys to our Friday Night Parties and our regular Friday couples look forward to meeting new guys BUT we insist that all singles read and understand this advice; trust us guys - it's for your benefit and following this simple advice should ensure that your night at Phantastica goes the way you, Phantastica, and our couples would like it to!

Making Contact

Make the effort to talk to people in the lounges - bar and tables - not the play rooms.  This is where you can make first contact.  Sitting on your own nursing a drink all night will not get you noticed for the right reasons.  We all know that some folks are shy but you must take some responsibility for your own good time and you do need to exercise some social skills.  It is OK to approach a lady or couple, introduce yourself and ask them for a drink or chat - you could even ask the lady for a dance. If they agree, then that's fine, be pleasant and sociable.  Just remember that agreeing to a drink or a chat does not mean that they agree to anything else - that may, or may not, come later.  If the response is a polite refusal then that's fine too, everyone has their own tastes so smile, thank them and move on - being pushy will not get the results you desire. Remember, there is a world of difference between being a "single" male and being a "solitary male".

 

Watching

One of the things about activity in the club is that people do expect to be watched, however, there is a massive difference between polite observation and intrusive behaviour.  It is recommended that you leave 6 feet between you and the action if you are not directly involved.  If you are signalled to come closer then that is OK - if not, just enjoy the view!

 

Standing Around

Do not lurk in the play rooms or stand around the entrance to the play rooms - nothing is more off putting for our ladies than the sight of single or groups of guys waiting to "pounce".  You can be the nicest guy in the world but just standing leant against a wall like you're waiting for a bus does nothing for your image. It is much better to have several conversations with different people so they get to know you a bit; if they then decide to invite someone to join in later, you stand a much better chance of being chosen.

 

Pouncing

This is considered to be totally unacceptable behaviour.  If you see a couple (or two ladies) heading into a play room do not jump up and immediately follow them in - you are almost guaranteed to see them walk straight back out again!  If a group have been enjoying themselves and the males move away consider that the lady may want a break/drink/pee and not a sudden influx of more males.  Pouncing on any female does not make you appear sexy or keen - it makes you look unattractively desperate.  Give us girls time to settled and well into any action we were intending - the keys to a successful invite to join in are patience, politeness, and consideration.

 

Alcohol

Alcohol is a curious thing - it is an excellent substance for reducing inhibitions and relaxing people - but only when taken in moderation!  Remember the golden rule - it takes time to take effect (up to 20 minutes) so if you are nervous and take a drink for courage expecting it to work in 5 minutes you are going to be disappointed.  So you take another, and another, and another - by the time the first one kicks in you are already 4 drinks ahead.  It is not rocket science to work out that, on that basis, instead of arriving nice and slowly at the "relaxed and functioning stage", you end up zooming straight through "party mode" and onto "hello Mr. Floppy".  This is usually accompanied by "pain in the arse" behaviour simply because ALL of your inhibitions have gone - not just your shyness.  A face full of alcohol fumes or the acidic breath it causes is NOT a turn on chaps - no matter how much those 5/8 drinks make you feel like Casanova. Oh - while we are on the subject of alcohol, please remember that our facilities include a bar.  We do not allow you to bring your own alcohol into the building.  Also please note that if our bar staff think you've already had too much they will refuse to serve you anymore.  Believe me - they are doing this for your own good <grin>.

 

Joining In

Wait until you are either asked or signalled.  If you think that you've been given a signal to join in but you are not absolutely sure, it won't do any harm at all to check!  "May I join you?" is an excellent opening remark and avoids any confusion.  Be aware that just because there may be 3 or 4 people engaged in activity you cannot automatically assume that they want more or that it is a free for all.

 

If Invited

Find out what the lady / couple want from you.  For example, some may not wish to give oral and if you start waving your pride and joy in their face you might spoil the whole session.

 

Girl On Girl

From time to time some ladies like to have fun with each other.  When this occurs, by all means watch but give them space - IF they want your company they will let you know. So, first lesson over; all you need now is a pack of condoms and a smile - condoms are on sale in the men’s toilets or behind the bar.  Joking aside guys, it is nice to have extra fellas around to have fun with but we want them to be capable of a bit of conversation, pleasant company, and considerate and respectful.  A simple life support system for a penis just don't hack it these days - thanks to the invention of plastic and Duracell! 

Although some of the information on the Life Style page may not be relevant to you it may be worth you reading it so that you can gain a deeper understanding of the scene.