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Special Advice for Single Guys
Making Contact
Advice for Single Guys Make the effort to talk to people in the lounges - bar and tables - not the play rooms. This is where you can make first contact. Sitting on your own nursing a drink all night will not get you noticed for the right reasons. We all know that some folks are shy but you must take some responsibility for your own good time and you do need to exercise some social skills. It is OK to approach a lady or couple, introduce yourself and ask them for a drink or chat - you could even ask the lady for a dance. If they agree, then that's fine, be pleasant and sociable. Just remember that agreeing to a drink or a chat does not mean that they agree to anything else - that may, or may not, come later. If the response is a polite refusal then that's fine too, everyone has their own tastes so smile, thank them and move on - being pushy will not get the results you desire. Remember, there is a world of difference between being a "single" male and being a "solitary male". One of the things about activity in the club is that people do expect to be watched, however, there is a massive difference between polite observation and intrusive behaviour. It is recommended that you leave 6 feet between you and the action if you are not directly involved. If you are signalled to come closer then that is OK - if not, just enjoy the view! Do not lurk in the play rooms or stand around the entrance to the play rooms - nothing is more off putting for our ladies than the sight of single or groups of guys waiting to "pounce". You can be the nicest guy in the world but just standing leant against a wall like you're waiting for a bus does nothing for your image. It is much better to have several conversations with different people so they get to know you a bit; if they then decide to invite someone to join in later, you stand a much better chance of being chosen. This is considered to be totally unacceptable behaviour. If you see a couple (or two ladies) heading into a play room do not jump up and immediately follow them in - you are almost guaranteed to see them walk straight back out again! If a group have been enjoying themselves and the males move away consider that the lady may want a break/drink/pee and not a sudden influx of more males. Pouncing on any female does not make you appear sexy or keen - it makes you look unattractively desperate. Give us girls time to settled and well into any action we were intending - the keys to a successful invite to join in, are patience, politeness, and consideration. Alcohol is a curious thing - it is an excellent substance for reducing inhibitions and relaxing people - but only when taken in moderation! Remember the golden rule - it takes time to take effect (up to 20 minutes) so if you are nervous and take a drink for courage expecting it to work in 5 minutes you are going to be disappointed. So you take another, and another, and another - by the time the first one kicks in you are already 4 drinks ahead. It is not rocket science to work out that, on that basis, instead of arriving nice and slowly at the "relaxed and functioning stage", you end up zooming straight through "party mode" and onto "hello Mr. Floppy". This is usually accompanied by "pain in the arse" behaviour simply because ALL of your inhibitions have gone - not just your shyness. A face full of alcohol fumes or the acidic breath it causes is NOT a turn on chaps - no matter how much those 5/8 drinks make you feel like Casanova. Oh - while we are on the subject of alcohol, please remember that our facilities include a bar. We do not allow you to bring your own alcohol into the building. Also please note that if our bar staff think you've already had too much they will refuse to serve you anymore. Believe me - they are doing this for your own good <grin>. Wait until you are either asked or signalled. If you think that you've been given a signal to join in but you are not absolutely sure, it won't do any harm at all to check! "May I join you?" is an excellent opening remark and avoids any confusion. Be aware that just because there may be 3 or 4 people engaged in activity you cannot automatically assume that they want more or that it is a free for all. Find out what the
lady / couple want from you. For example, some may not wish to give oral
and if you start waving your pride and joy in their face you might spoil
the whole session. From time to time
some ladies like to have fun with each other. When this occurs, by all
means watch but give them space - IF they want your company they will
let you know. Not all the Guys that attend are Bi Sexual so please please do not assume that because you are, that they are too – there is nothing worse for a straight guy than to be groped in the midst of passion by a single guy that has joined the room. Is exactly what is
says on the door, DO NOT ENTER or PEEK IN THE DOOR, if you do you will
be asked to leave the club. |